NLP Presupposition #2 : People respond to their internal maps

I talked about maps earlier this week, how my view of reality (or map) kept
difficult things in the distance, that allowed me to make excuses to put
off fitness or make it fuzzy so I didn’t have to do anything aboiut it.

The second NLP presupp is “People Respond to the world according to their
maps”. Which gives an impetus to change these things to be a little more
effective. That’s why I have Rebuttal sections, so I can take not of the
excuses I make to myself and come up with answers to them. In a way, I’m
rewriting my map of the fitness territory.

Excuses are one thing, and complete distortions are another. I’ve spent my
entire life with a distorted viewpoint of my own self worth, the way I look
to people, and how much social value I have in the wake of how I visually
come off.

Even last night, I was talking to two cute girls, and was wondering if I
was too fat to be talking to these bitches for like a minute. I’m pretty
good at snapping myself out of a negative state when I’m out, it’s when I’m
alone that the poison comes in.

This shit may have been external to start with, but it’s all internal now.
In the last 3 years I’ve hooked up with girls who were way out of my league
on the looks scale, eradicating any solidity in those negative beliefs.
That shit just doesn’t matter. But I spend my days wondering if I’m good
enough, simply because I haven’t gotten my body under control.

I spent three years studying social dynamics, communication, building a
social circle… and did fairly well for myself. built up a lot of
confidence, and provide a whole lot of value for people now. There’s still
that physical thing that haunts me day to day, so 19 days ago, I decided to
succumb to it.

If my own perception of my fitness is in my way (if that’s what’s screwed
up on my map), then we’re gonna rewrite it. I’ve tried to shortcut around
it so many times, but in the end, I just need to get it handled. I don’t
subscribe to the “Just love your body for the shape it is” bullshit. That
may work for the mediocre masses, or the ED peeps who need to stop hurting
themselves… but not me.

Laziness, fogginess of concepts… these lead to inaction, and the only
cure is action. I did positive thinking exercises for 3 fucking years and
meditated a whole lot. Great. I’m still fat. Time to take the science
that’s out there and the discipline and peer support to modify my behavior
to overcome what might be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to experience…
because I’ve never done it. I’ve bungee jumped, competed in the BJJ
Mundials, Quit smoking… but I’ve never been in shape.

And that’s up to me to fix. With action. Anyways, rant over. I’m super sick
right now and it hurts to move. I hate it because I can’t work out without
coughing my lungs out and a headache the size of God flaring up. We’ll see
how fencing goes tomorrow.

What was my point?

Oh yeah. rewriting my maps. it only took me nineteen days to view myself as
the kind of person that works out. I’m a fucking gym rat. Where June would
have been riddled with shoulds and excuses, july has been riddled with
Kettlebells, big fucking plates, left hooks and sprawls. I walk around all
shoulders back like I was Vin Diesel in pitch black. It’s funny.

My new map is one of those guys who wears warmup pants and trainers
everywhere. It’s hilarious, the comparison to what I used to think about
myself, not 20 days ago. Fuck you people who say fitness isn’t a
destination. Hell yes it is, and my milestone ends at 16%. This journey
started, and this time, it won’t stop until it’s finished.